Lossed and Found

Teri Kai Holtzclaw, Ph.D.

Welcome to the grand opening of a regular column dedicated to long term weight loss patients who are struggling with weight regain issues. Many of you have been following my articles in Beyond Change for several years and are well aware that I advocate honesty as a proven weight loss measure. Honesty is far more difficult than I ever imagined. It involves my professional and personal buy in. Some of you know that I have divided myself personally and professionally over the years - unsuccessfully at that. Today, I can say with profound humility, that I am no longer divided. I stand before you as one person with one agenda - to advocate the acknowledgement of the existence of thousands, not hundreds, but thousands of postoperative weight loss patients who have surpassed the honeymoon stage of recent weight loss and are now experiencing the nightmare stage of regain awareness and apprehension. 

Who are the postoperative regainers? Are we all non-compliant and unable to follow simple instructions? Are we all failures in a process that is proven successful permanently? Is it really about what I eat and how much I eat? Is exercise my only hope? What use is a support group for someone like me? What happens to me when I get old? What happens ten, twenty years down the road? Does anyone care about my long-term outcome?

Beyond Change's new column, Lossed and Found, will explore all of these questions and more. This column is not about my obstacles and me alone. This column is about postoperative patients who wish to email me and ask questions that if I can't answer - I will find a professional who can. This column is also about redefining our reasons for managing our weight and seeking the healthiest path possible. I'd like to leave you with something to think about: 

Initially, you wanted to lose weight to save your life, fit into an airline seat, make it to your child's graduation, and walk up one flight of stairs without having to rest halfway there. Initially, you may have hoped of coming off your diabetic medications, storing away your motor scooter, and retiring your sleep apnea machine permanently. Now, years later, the weight has lifted. And, though you have regained a portion of it back, you remain med-free, out of a scooter, and still able to exercise.

So, what do you do now? Do you linger in a depressed state, wondering why you bought into the hype that weight loss surgery would wave its magic wand and make you thin forever? Do you kick yourself repeatedly for being so naive as to think that you were meant to look like a magazine model for life? Let's face it, most of us we're not really seeking to reach "normal" weight health. Many of us have non-surgical thin-bodied friends who are anything but healthy about their eating and exercising choices. Many of us have friends who battle their weight management, even when in our eyes they have the figure we would die for. So why is it that we think we have a "get out of feeling normal weight management pressures" free card when we have weight loss surgery? We're not really thinking that our lifelong thinner friends are secure in their weight management without effort or societal pressure to conform to our ideal of beauty in this country...are we?

I understand all the reasons that you wanted to lose weight prior to your surgical intervention. Now, after the honeymoon phase has passed, and the regain phase has surfaced, why do you still want to lose weight? What if I told you that you have permission to change the reasons why you want to lose weight? What if I dared to suggest that weight loss doesn't have to be about life-saving issues or some earth-shattering event associated with a family member or illness? What if I could convince you that losing weight is simply a part of your life's work toward living the longest and healthiest life ever? Would that be enough incentive to motivate you through the postoperative regain portion of your weight management journey?

Over the next several issues of Beyond Change, I will be laying out my systematic approach to managing postoperative regain issues in realistic and holistic ways that matter. I will be forthright about my own regain challenges as well as vulnerably available to hear about yours. Together, without judgment or pretense, we will cut through the bariatric babble and get to the core of the reasons why we want to manage and lose weight today.

Validating a new reason to be healthy does not invalidate the reasons we once had. However, like the over-sized clothes that we shed during our honeymoon phase, now its time to shed the preoperative reasons so that we can focus on the meaningful postoperative reasons of continued weight management -even in the face of regain pressures. It's my hope that if you are inspired to do so, that you will email me your questions, comments, and concerns regarding weight regain and management challenges. I want to hear from you.